Faith, what is it?

Well, that's not really my question. I do know what faith 'is', the hope in things yet unseen, a belief in what we can not see, etc.... but what is it to have 'true faith'? In my own life, right here, right now?

A question my husband and I discussed yesterday;

Is faith believing that God CAN move our family to the farm we have an offer in on?

Or...

Is faith believing that God WILL move our family to the farm we have an offer in on?

I'm thinking it may be the second of the two, because it's actually pretty easy to have faith that God CAN move us there. God can move mountains, God can make a donkey speak, God can part the Red Sea. But do we believe that God WILL move us there?

Again, my first immediate though is, "of course He CAN!" but that's not the question is it?

The question is, will He?

And I don't know. So how do I have faith that He WILL, if I feel a need to be humble in realising I really know nothing. I mean I do BELIEVE God has called our family to live our life on a farm, as a strong family unit, helping one another to become all that we can become, in Jesus. But who am I to say He has called us to this one particular property? Who am I to even dare to ask Him to move us to that property when we have more then most already? I know it is asking a lot. I know we are blessed already.

Yet, I also know that God knows our situation. He knows that if we remain here under this burden of debt in such an expensive location, we will need to be a 2 income family, 2 full incomes. He knows that if we can sell this place, we can go back to living life as we feel He has called us to live, schooling our children, spending our days teaching them and working together as a family unit.

Yet wait... that's what we are doing now already.

So then I realise that it's not WHERE we live that dictates HOW we live because even under this huge burden of debt, even with both of us working almost every single day, we are still making it work in the way that God has called us to live our lives. As a family unit, working together, and teaching our children as we go.

So what's the problem?

I guess it's the stress of the burden that is the problem? But hasn't Jesus told us we are to leave our budens at His feet? If this is what He asks, the 'service' He provides, then the stres shouldnt' be a problem should it?

This leads me back to something the Lord tried to teach me already many years ago. Probably about 7 years ago actually. I was in church, having a moment to myself in silence and I saw a vision. A vision of myself.

In the vision, I went to the cross and nailed my burdens on that cross.

In the vision, I turned around and walked away, leaving my burdens there.

But then, in the vision, I went back to that cros with a crow bar in hand, and began prying those burdens back off that cross again.

I fear I may be prying burdens again. If stress is the problem, and Jesus has said to leave my stress, my burdens at His feet, then there really isn't any problem left is there?

Well, there's one problem, and that's me. Me and my ability to pry those burdens.