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Photographic evidence from over the years that I was really meant to live on a farm.
When we lived on a farm in Holland (look at those chubby legs!)
Even then I loved paints (of course this is a pony and now I have a full size horse lol)
Back in Holland for a visit with a cousin, after we moved to Canada. See where my love for pappilons comes from? hee hee
I'm the one on th left.
All photographic evidence that I need a farm, it's time to get back to my roots. I know I have a 'hobby' farm here but I mean a real farm, cows, maybe some alpacas and sheep, more chickens, a couple more horses, some pigs again....
We have a showing tomorrow. We had someone stop by the house when I was working in the cabin and dh was gone working as well. He spoke with our eldest daughter and asked all kinds of questions about the property and let her know we needed more flyers in our box (realtor flyers). I could tell by the types of questions he asked that he was interested in the full property, not just the house. Sure enough, we get an email a few days later from our realtor that someone wants to see the house. This person has already sold their home and they are looking for somewhere to build a house. I'm thinking maybe they need some place that aleady has somewhere to live while they build? If so, this is the PERFECT place for them. We already have a building site with water, electricity, a concreet pad etc. where we removed the old mobile home.
I KNOW that there is SOMEONE out there who will immediately fall in love with this property as we did, and will snap it up and love living here. I KNOW it will happen. I "hope" that it happens with this showing.
Trying not to get my hopes up though, yet tyring not to be negative either.
In life, so often we think we know it all. Really.
Before I married my husband, I was always very honest about having children. I let him know from the start that I wanted at least four. He always seemed perfectly agreeable.
My husband grew up in a family of two kids, him and his sister. Once our eldest two were born, we had a girl, and a boy. A son, and a daughter/ At this time, he let me know that he was perfectly happy with the two we had, and as far as he was concerned, our family was complete. Needless to say, I was a little miffed at the idea (little miffed is putting it nicely, in case you didn't know. lol)
We argued a bit, but finally I said, "You know what? I'm not going to argue with you about this. I know that if we are meant to have four children, we WILL have four children. If God wants us to have FIVE children, He'll find a way!"
Truer words have never come out of my lips. 6 years later, after never arguing about it again, I gave birth to our fourth AND fifth baby. 
Her middle name was to be Blessing, because that's what she was, and is. The blessing we never planned on, the blessing we didn't even know we wanted, yet the blessing that brings SO much joy into our lives daily. She's one of those 'perfect' children. She rarely ever argues, or makes a fuss. She's always been that way, right since birth. Even in the womb, she was squashed all backwards because her sister was sprawled out in there, well as sprawled out as you can be with a sister next to you in the womb. lol
When she was born, she had a very large mark on one leg, where her other pressed hard against it while she was growing inside in that tight space.
When it was feeding time, she always waited patiently for her turn, even as an infant! Daddy could soothe her while she waited for her turn. Her sister always had to go first, always. lol Her sister is getting much better at waiting though, and is learning patience.
One time when they were about a year old and had been moved into their own room, I sat nursing and rocking her twin sister one night while she lay quietly waiting in her crib. I prayed to God and told Him that it wasn't fair that her sister was ALWAYS getting the attention, simply because she demanded it. I felt God telling me, very clearly, that I was not to worry, her time would come. That I was to take care of the child that needed me at THAT time, and not to worry about the inconsistencies of the attention spent on each one, each day.
Sure enough, now they are 9.5 years old, and 'big sister' doesn't demand much attention at all anymore. She's quite happy to be busy gathering and collecting things, exploring insects, doing lots of writing, drawing and reading. Where as "Blessing" is a very 'there' child. She LOVES to be right 'there', always by my side or her Daddy's side, or even her brother's side or her twin sister's side. She's always helping, always hugging, and always, ALWAYS, conversing. She loves to chit chat, about anything and everything and she's not selfish in her chit chat. She'll talk all about anything that interests you, as much as things that interest her. I find that quite impressive at such a young age. She's all about everyone, not just about herself. I love that about her. She's teaching me lots in life, how to become less selfish, less self centered.
Don't get me wrong, this post isn't saying she's more of a blessing then our other four children. ALL our children are blessings, ALL of them! Each one in their own ways. God made them all special, and He made them all perfect, in their own ways, in His way. I love them all equally, not one is more special then the other. However, Blessing is the 'extra' blessing we never even knew we wanted, but God knew we needed.
Speaking of being special, the way God created us. He spoke something to me just yesterday as I was pondering why it is that I continue to do that which I do not want to do, yet that which I want to do, I do not do... (sound familiar?)
He spoke directly to my heart and said,
"Stop trying to change yourself, simply BETTER who you already are."
God is good... ALL the time. 
I was reading over at a friends blog: http://epiphanysprings.blogspot.com/2009/03/because-i-need-things-spelled-out-extra.html
It's funny how so often God will be speaking the same things to His children.
If you have a moment, go over there and read, then come back here.
After reading her post, I shared this comment.
As they say, every journey starts with one step.
Funny, I was just pondering this very thought yesterday, and I thought almost the exact same thing you did, "I have five kids, I school them, feed them, care for them, surely I'm not selfish with my time, am I?"
Yes, I am. I know that most times, I'd much rather sew, then make dessert for after dinner even though I know my family loves it when I do. I know I often use 'work' as an excuse to say "no, not right now"
It's so hard (AND PAINFUL!) to see ourselves through God's eyes when our own vision of ourselves is so often seen through rose colored glasses.
I don't like to be so honest as to share the reality of my life like that. It hurts to admit that yes, sometimes I'd rather go sew then bake for my family, or I'd rather sit here at the computer 'working' then reading the children a story. It happens all too frequently lately, and I've gotten in a rutt. I know I'm a good mom, but I know I could be a WHOLE lot better. I know I'm a good person, but I know I could be a WHOLE lot better. I know I'm a good wife, but I know I could be a WHOLE lot better too.
That's been my prayer lately. Lord, help me to hear your Holy Spirit speaking to me.
I already know He does. I know He points out things to me that I could be doing for others. Often I don't hear Him. Even more often, I do, and I put Him on ignore...
Ouch. It hurts to admit it...
that I post an update around here?
I haven't had a whole lot of time for blogging and when I do, it's usually on our biz blog. Onine 'fun' has been pushed to the wayside for some time now. I sit here so often for biz purposes that when I get done what needs doing, I don't want to stay here any longer then I have to.
In new news, I'll be changing the blog some time in the future. Another 'prariemama' contacted me about the domain name, and I've been tossing around the name HomsteadMama for some time now, since it goes along with the biz, and really, I'm not a prairiemama while I'm here in the middle of mountains and ocean. lol HomesteadMama, that I hope to always be though so I think I could settle into that blog name very nicely and stay a while. This will give the other prairiemama the opportunity to take the domain for herself and I've already purchased the new domain for when I'm ready to make the move.
Speaking of moving... no, we aren't yet but we do have the place back on the market! The realtor we have, kind of fell into our lap. The realtor we had changed to last fall is going away to help his sister who just had a baby. He has asked another realtor, whom he trusts, to take his place.
Well howdy doody! This new realtor is something else. He absolutely loves our place and sees everything it has to offer. The listing he wrote up is nothing like the ones the other realtors have done. He's included all the info in there, pointing out that we're not just selling a home here, we're selling a full property with a cabin, a workshop, an additional building site, the stalls for horses, the extra green space, the creek, etc. etc. etc...
It's been such a huge breath of fresh air for us. Don't get me wrong, the last realtor was good, but this guy, for whatever reason, sees what we see. The other realtors just didn't seem to see it. It's not possible to sell something you're not excited about yourself. I guess the main difference here would be that this new realtor actually sells quite a few acreage properties, so he knows what they offer and the type of clients who are looking for them.
Enough rambling about that though. Let's hope three times a charm and that the place will finally sell and we'll be on our way. Oh, we've dropped our price by another 60,000.00 so that should help too. 
In other news, the biz continues to do well and the kids are all really finding their niche within it. I love that not only am I working from home, but they are too! I don't expect they will ALL want to continue with it long term, but who knows. Time will tell. I love that we have it and that they have the option.
While the house is on the market, we've decided that we're going to become tourists in our local area. I did this when we put our previous home on the market years ago. We checked out all the local sites, some free, some not. Tomorrow we are going to check out a place where they keep parrots. I'll be sure to share some photos if the allow us to take them. Then we're going to the local farmers market. Maybe we'll have lunch or an early dinner there too.
My husband has FINALLY been getting steady work again. This is such a HUGE blessing. For the past 1.5-2 years his work has been slow with only little spurts of work here and there. The timing worked out ok, because we needed him here more to finish the work on the property, but at the same time it was difficult to make ends meet without him working! We've made it through though, and it seems the dry spell has possibly passed. I sure hope so.
The kids are doing well with their schooling. Right now our eldest is concentrating mostly on writing and she's just started a new Proverbs Bible Study course. She's also trying to finish up all her math, so that she can be 'graduated' this year. This is her 'official' last year of school but learning never ends. I'll be drilling that into my children's heads until they are married and on their own. 
She works for the family biz, and also babysits for a neighbour. She does well with both. She's looking forward to moving because she wants to get her drivers liscence. The way they do things here is very different from where we are moving to though, so she figured she'd just wait until we got there. LOL Oops... At this rate, even though it takes 2 years to complete everything here to be a full fledged driver, she could have been done with it all in about 5 months. Hee hee. I figure we'll just trust that she wasn't meant to have it yet. lol
Our son is about the only one who can't seem to find the time to fit a full schedule of school work into his days. He's been working with his dad pretty much full time, and then when they have time off (like this week) he tries to pick up the slack. I'm not too concerned. He still manages to finish things, just not on a schedule as others might. But that's why we homeschool, to give us the option to spend time living life and working as needed.
The three younger girls are doing very well. The twins are becoming speed readers, which just thrills me to no end! I find teaching reading to be the most difficult part of homeschooling. Once they really get the hang of it and can read anything on their own, homeschooling life just completely changes! I told my eldest that when they all have children, if they want help teaching their children to read, to just let me know! I'm determined to remind myself how hard it was, and how much I would have LOVED someone to be willing to help out with this one homeschooling task. I think I may have been a little overwhelmed at one time with having 3 of them all at the same level (one is older, but her reading is actually at a slightly lower level then her younger sisters). I'm so glad the hard part is over, and they can sit around with their noses in books whenever they want to now.
Watching children grow up is so very bittersweet. I really don't think I'll ever get over the idea of never having more babies. Yet, at the same time, life is so very full and I really am very blessed with the children I do have, so I feel I really have no right to complain. Yet, at least every second month because my cycles occassionally mess up, I find myself wondering, wishing, hoping, praying, asking, and thinking... maybe... just maybe it could happen? Just once more?
But then as the days go by, once again I realise I'm just torturing myself once again. I really try not to do it, but the mind, it plays tricks, so does the body. And then I remind myself that one day, there will be more babies. There will be grand-babies to spoil, and hold, and love.
Enough of my ramblings for now. I'll try to write more often.
Come check out our Pumpkin Stew at The Prairie Kitchen blog, link in the side bar on the left.
Living on a 'hobby' farm has it's ups and downs, but couple that with plans to move, and it makes it even worse.
Right now we have a situation where a few of our horses are trying their best to be a demolition derby team. Winter weather has hit, and they've become bored. To fight off boredom, they have decided it would be fun to chew some fences.
At first, this just seemed like an annoyance because the fence they were chewing each time was the only one we had just kind of thrown together out of any lumber we had left here. They were leaving the fence posts and the wire fencing alone, of course, because those all have a string of electric wire running across them. They may be dumb enough to chew wooden fences, but they aren't that dumb. lol (and note that I am an animal lover as anyone who knows me realizes, but the fact is horses, and most other animals can show some pretty high stupidity at times. Any TRUE animal lover who HAS animals, will attest to this fact. 
So we'd keep adding a new board to the top of this fence, all the while trying our best to figure out some way to stop this madness, without having to take out a second mortgage to do it. This is the part where the moving plans comes into play.
It is SO difficult to even THINK of spending a LOT of money on a solution when we have NO clue how long we'll be here! We have so many other things would could/should/need to spend money on that building an expensive fence out of something the horses can NOT chew, is just something I do not want to even think about. I'm hoping we can figure out a way to run the electric wire across this portion of the fence. And, now they've begun chewing the barn, so we have to figure out how to run it through there as well.
Darn horses. Not only am I stressing about what they are doing to the barn now, but the worry that they may do something stupid and hurt themselves is keeping me up at night. Last night just after midnight, I heard noises coming from the stall and sure enough, the mama and baby were chewing up a storm and they had chewed this one section in such a way that the baby could have gotten her head stuck if she chewed too much and then decided to try and put her head in there. Ugh! I had night mares about those two darn horses all night, when I actually could get to sleep. 
I was not happy this morning. I may be tempted to keep them locked in the pasture until we get this problem solved. It's not that cold yet, and it's either be safe in the pasture, or in danger in the stall.
Anywho... I just wanted to do some rambling. I've been neglecting my journal lately and I forget that it's a good place to get these issues off my chest.
Really, I do, but... it's how I felt.
The only reason I really hate it is becaue it makes it sound like my life sucks, and my life doesn't suck, that particular situation sucked. It sucked big time.
My life though, quite the contrary. My life is blessed, and I know it! I don't like to make things out like my life is not blessed, but sometimes, sometimes things feel sucky and I can either pretend like life is always all honky dorey (yes, I say honky dorey, call me a dork) or I can be real, and share that sometimes... just sometimes... a situation in my life sucks, really sucks.
Ok, now that I've written the word sucks more times then I've ever actually spoken the word probably in my lifetime (I don't go around saying sucks lol, I just think it, and think 'outloud' on this, my journal) let's get onto other topics.
So we changed our minds and decided to keep our house on the market. I don't know what happened really, but I just felt SICK about taking it off the market. Like we were locking a door that is supposed to be left open. I'm not saying that means the house might sell this winter, I have no clue. Maybe it just means we were supposed to keep our offer in on the other house/farm 3000 miles away? Who knows. At this moment, we have re-signed a new offer good till Nov. 30th, and we were told the sellers wanted us to put in an offer extension again, but I have yet to hear back about whether they actually signed it or not. We shall see. I'm NOT stressing about it. I simply want us to keep all doors open, without pushing anything that doesn't seem to want to be opened. Leaving doors open for God to move, not slamming doors shut in His face, yet also trying our best not to pry open anything He has shut. We've been praying all along that if that is not the property for us, please Lord sell it! If it is to be our homestead, save it and sell this place.
In other news, I've spent the last two days all by my lonesome for the first time since having my first child 17 years ago. The kids are spending two nights at my parents and have left me here to feed the zoo, all by my lonesome. This morning wasn't too bad, but yesterday, and the evening before, all three times I had to feed the horses in the pouring rain. Since we have five horses, and two paddocks, this means they eat in the same spaces together. Mina and Lacey (mama and baby) eat together and they are fine but the other three. Look out! lol We keep the spaced apart, but one gets quite a bit more feed then the other two and he happens to be our only male, and a big pushover. Our two mares who are in with him, try to steal his feed, so that means I have to stand there, with crop in hand, guarding him until slow poke Bandit is finished his meal. lol This is tons of fun, twice a day, in the pouring rain when it's cold outside! Oh yes, LOADS of fun!
But, I've survived all the feedings. The horses, rabbits, chickens, dogs and cats have all survived without five children to help. lol 
I'm feeling rather proud of myself. lol
Ah! While typing this out, the realtor just let me know that yes, the sellers of the homestead did indeed agree to, and sign the extension. Wooo hooo. Now we have till Nov 30th to get this place sold. lol Or write another extension. If we get that house, it will go down as the sale with the most extensions in history.
Anywho...
I must run. I'm trying to get ahead in my sewing work so that once the kids are home I can have a couple of days off. We go to have Thanksgiving at my parents tonight and pick them up at that time.
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