This is a totally VENT post.

Obviously, our house still has not sold, otherwise I'd be posting a jumping for joy post. LOL

Instead, I'm coming here to vent because I feel Christians, really need to start thinking about what they are saying to other Christians (and what they say to NON-Christians for that matter).

This week, we have come to the conclusion that if we want our home to sell, we needed to consider dropping our price. We've had lots of people look, take flyers etc., but no bites. We feel that means the house is over priced.

Our current realtor has 1 week left on her contract, so we shot her an email today letting her know we are willing to drop our price by XX,XXX.00 amount of dollars and please advise any previously interested parties about this drop in price.

I realise over and over again, why you should NOT do business with people you know on a personal level. Here's part of her response to us:

...perhaps it is God saying that you are not to sell.  Surely as you have told me that you beleive that He is in charge of your life and what happens, then maybe this is His way of saying don't go.

First off, God has yet to tell ME that He has given me special secret knowledge of other people's lives. I really feel as Christians, we need to stop saying stuff like this because really, what you're telling the other person is, "maybe you're not supposed to move and you just aren't hearing God tell you that."

If we're not meant to move, I'm ok with that, but I have yet to feel that God is saying that to me, my husband doesn't feel He's saying that, and neither do our children. Seven people in this family, all of whom are asking God to speak to us, and none of us feel He is saying "Don't move", so why would He tell outsiders that we're not meant to move, but not share that little detail with us? Hmmm....

Secondly, and my biggest reason for this vent, is WHY do so many Christians believe that if something does not come quick, and easy, that it's not from God?!?!?!?

THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING HERE PEOPLE!!!!!

Those who believe this way of thinking, have you read your Bible lately?

Seriously!

My husband and I have been married just under 18 years now. NOTHING about our marriage has been quick, or easy. If we had this mentality, we would have divorced YEARS ago.

We've had children now for almost 17 years, NOTHING about having these five children has been quick, or easy! NOTHING! I suppose we should have given up on them long ago and handed them back to God, because if it doesn't come quick and easy, it just must not be of God. He's not making this marriage thing, or this parenting thing, easy on us, so we really should give up now. Don't you think?

I could go on, but I'm going to stop now because my blood is beginning to boil.

Well, my biz stuff is... finally! to the cabin! Wooo hooo!
 
Mind you, now my bedroom is a complete disaster, and actually so is the cabin right now, but everything is in the building that it should be in and tomorrow I'll keep working on getting everything into it's proper PLACE where it should be, and all will be right in the world again. lol
 
So I thought I'd share some pics of the cabin, before and after. Many of you have seen the before pics, but some of our newer folk haven't, so I'll share anyways.
 
Plus, I'll be honest, I'm bragging, about the great work my dh, and son, (and me a little too) have done! I'm personally amazed at the transformation this building has taken over the past 2.5 years.
 
Outside-back-before

Outside-back-after
 

Outside-front

 
Outside front today

 
Now here's the exciting part!

The inside of the cabin AFTER we had it almost gutted, but we still have the old ceiling partly up when this pic was taken. Notice the trusses visable? We totally redid the entire inside. When we bought the place, the toilet had been built out onto the side roof. I wish I had a pic of that. I think my dh has one, I just don't have one on the computer but I may just have to scan his copy because it's about the most halrious thing i've ever seen. A crapper built on a roof, like an indoor outhouse. Seriously. The guy was pretty darn proud of himself too. Thanks to his brilliance, we had to re-route all the plumbing so we could actually bring it INTO the cabin, where it should have been built in the first place.
 
So, here's a photo of the before, but after. Before the good stuff was done to it, but after we gutted it. Don't mind the junk.
Looking towards the door, before.

 
Looking to the back from the door, before (but after we gutted).
 

And...... drumroll please....
 
Today!
 
Facing the door

 

 
View from the doorway

 


And around the corner to where my sewing 'station' will be.

 
Dh says I need to invest in some blinds now or I'll be roasting while I sew in the mornings. I really dispise the thought of spending even more money on this place, but I think he may be right. lol
 
I guess one reason why I'm so proud of the work we've done, is because we've had to do it on an extremely tight budget, while still doing top quality work. The slate tiles at the door we salvaged from a job, the laminate flooring we scored on sale, the bathroom tiles, it cost us 20.00 to do the whole floor because of the deal we got on them, yet they are gorgeous tiles! I forgot to snap a pic of the bathroom all done, but I have one from the other day:

 
Even the shower we got on sale. We simply bought things as we could afford them, and as we found each thing on sale. It's been a tedious process with my dh pretty much out of work all winter, but we've done it, and I'm so glad we did! Dh got the permits all signed off yesterday and the cabin & workshop can FINALLY be put on our property assessment! It's about time!

Praise God!

I shared in my last post about the puppy I had put a deposit on, in hopes that we'd be moved by the time it was old enough for us to pick it up.

Well, that time is soon coming and we needed to decide if I should let it go, or discuss having the puppy flown out to us here.

Despite the fact that we'd like to be moved by the end of this month (that would take a REAL miracle!) we know that it's not likely to happen, and life must go on. Decisions have to be made, changes dealt with, life simply goes on.

We did indeed get an extention on the sale of our home, for the offer in on the other house, but, that extention will once again be over in just 13 short days. I suppose on the 25th, we'll once again ask for another one month extention. Hopefully they accept. I'm sure they will, unless they've had other bites on the house. If they do accept, that will give us yet another month, but after that, it will soon become time to consider removing the house off the market again, for winter.

Travelling 3000 miles/5000 KM, including through the Rockies,  isn't something we want to consider doing during winter weather. Especially when it also involves moving 5 horses.

I don't know what time will bring. I don't know if we will end up here for yet another winter. I won't lie. I'm getting to the point where I have no idea what God is doing in our lives. We are told to have faith, and I'm beginning to think I have no clue what faith really is. If anyone knows, in laymans terms, please do share. I'm becoming more confused by what faith must really mean, by the day.

Faith in what? That there is a God? No, that can't be faith because even satan believes there is a God.
That God will make things ok? No, that can't be what faith is because people loose their children to death, and are told to have faith, so having faith can't mean believing that everything will be 'ok' because loosing a child, or any loved one, certainly isn't 'ok'.

Is faith beliving God will be with us through it all?

Oh boy, I feel like I'm sounding like some new baby Christian that doesn't know what's what. That's not it though. It's a deeper level I'm searching for I guess? I'm not happy with just 'pat' answers. I want to know the depth of the meaning.

What is faith? What is it to have faith? True faith. Not what man often makes up as being faith, but true faith that Jesus teaches of.

I think I need to get digging through Jesus's words for the answers.

Anywho....

Enough deep ponderings for the moment.

On a more simple note, we made the decision that life goes on, I've waited to get a puppy now for well over a year, so the puppy will be the newest member of our family possibly next Sunday.

I'm sure I'll share photos after his arrival.

Some might say we're crazy, adding another pet to our family when we know we could move at any time. If that is crazy, then I guess that's what we are.

When we put the offer in on the other house, at the same time I had found a breeder, not too too far from where the house is, who breeds the breed of dogs I have been wanting. I had been wanting a lap dog for a couple of years now, and decided on a Pappillon.
 
So anyways, to make a long story short I got in touch with the breeder, they were expecting two or three batches of puppies this summer. Yes, they would take a deposit down for one pup from the 3 batches, even though I wasn't 100% positive we'd be moving. If something happened and we couldn't take the pup, our money would be refunded. The deposit was 250.00, so I took on a few extra custom orders to fund the deposit, so I wouldn't be taking from our family budget, and sent the deposit to the breeder.
 
Well, one batch of puppies ended up being miscarried, one pup at a time, over about a week. Very sad.
 
The other girl they had bred, ended up not taking. They knew this was a possibility because it was her first time being bred and you never know what will happen.
 
So, they ended up with one litter of 3 puppies.
 
Still, the breeder  held one for me with the understanding that if our house does sell, we won't be there to pick it up until the 1st week of August, when it's about 10 weeks old.
 
So because she knows we may not even end up moving, she's held back the best puppy, so she can be sure to find it a home, OR worst case scenario, keep it as a stud for herself.
 
Here's that puppy, MY puppy:

 

 
Isn't he just SOOOOOO Cute!?!? He's exactly the coloring I had wanted. I'm so sad right now though, because I had told her that if we didn't sell, or know some solid info, by the end of this month, I would give her the ok to sell him to someone else and just refund my deposit. 
 
And here we sit, June 24th.
 
To make matters worse, that offer we put in on the house also expires at the end of this month, so now we have to ask for an extension. We keep putting it off, hoping, and hoping, that maybe, just maybe, we'll sell soon, NOW. Maybe God is waiting to the last minute and that last minute hasn't quite arrived yet?
 
I don't know.
 
Anywho, that's my whine for the day.
 
Silly thing is, I don't know what I'm most upset about right at this moment, possibly loosing that house, or my puppy.

Faith, what is it?

Well, that's not really my question. I do know what faith 'is', the hope in things yet unseen, a belief in what we can not see, etc.... but what is it to have 'true faith'? In my own life, right here, right now?

A question my husband and I discussed yesterday;

Is faith believing that God CAN move our family to the farm we have an offer in on?

Or...

Is faith believing that God WILL move our family to the farm we have an offer in on?

I'm thinking it may be the second of the two, because it's actually pretty easy to have faith that God CAN move us there. God can move mountains, God can make a donkey speak, God can part the Red Sea. But do we believe that God WILL move us there?

Again, my first immediate though is, "of course He CAN!" but that's not the question is it?

The question is, will He?

And I don't know. So how do I have faith that He WILL, if I feel a need to be humble in realising I really know nothing. I mean I do BELIEVE God has called our family to live our life on a farm, as a strong family unit, helping one another to become all that we can become, in Jesus. But who am I to say He has called us to this one particular property? Who am I to even dare to ask Him to move us to that property when we have more then most already? I know it is asking a lot. I know we are blessed already.

Yet, I also know that God knows our situation. He knows that if we remain here under this burden of debt in such an expensive location, we will need to be a 2 income family, 2 full incomes. He knows that if we can sell this place, we can go back to living life as we feel He has called us to live, schooling our children, spending our days teaching them and working together as a family unit.

Yet wait... that's what we are doing now already.

So then I realise that it's not WHERE we live that dictates HOW we live because even under this huge burden of debt, even with both of us working almost every single day, we are still making it work in the way that God has called us to live our lives. As a family unit, working together, and teaching our children as we go.

So what's the problem?

I guess it's the stress of the burden that is the problem? But hasn't Jesus told us we are to leave our budens at His feet? If this is what He asks, the 'service' He provides, then the stres shouldnt' be a problem should it?

This leads me back to something the Lord tried to teach me already many years ago. Probably about 7 years ago actually. I was in church, having a moment to myself in silence and I saw a vision. A vision of myself.

In the vision, I went to the cross and nailed my burdens on that cross.

In the vision, I turned around and walked away, leaving my burdens there.

But then, in the vision, I went back to that cros with a crow bar in hand, and began prying those burdens back off that cross again.

I fear I may be prying burdens again. If stress is the problem, and Jesus has said to leave my stress, my burdens at His feet, then there really isn't any problem left is there?

Well, there's one problem, and that's me. Me and my ability to pry those burdens.

I love this photo.

This photo sums up so much of what I want out of this life.
Childlike. Color. Country. Cowgirl. Childhood. Content Happiness. Childhood Freedom. Beauty.